So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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