A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
