I bet he comes in French.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
