We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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