Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
