so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
