Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
