Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
