We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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