areolas are like halos for boobs.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize