Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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