apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
