in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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