so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
