I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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