Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Enjoy the penises
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
