i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.