Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.

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  (812): Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background. (917): Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex. (812): Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds. http://tfl.nu/5x1m
  Replies (32) Good night (640) Bad night (1867)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.

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  (207): it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck. http://tfl.nu/q2n8
  Replies (80) Good night (978) Bad night (5954)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

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  (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. http://tfl.nu/ktzo
  Replies (26) Good night (3963) Bad night (1006)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.

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  (210): She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas. http://tfl.nu/4atb
  Replies (19) Good night (1447) Bad night (4469)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.

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  (617): I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while. http://tfl.nu/clpn
  Replies (15) Good night (4562) Bad night (1509)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.

  (607): View more from New York

  Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.

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  (203): Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone. (607): Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/z2i9
  Replies (7) Good night (5948) Bad night (1136)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

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  (541): Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk http://tfl.nu/l5et
  Replies (7) Good night (4515) Bad night (1462)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.

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  (503): well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up. http://tfl.nu/zf7z
  Replies (16) Good night (1205) Bad night (4292)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked

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  (613): I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked http://tfl.nu/dann
  Replies (6) Good night (3683) Bad night (1076)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us

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  (413): We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us http://tfl.nu/tf0q
  Replies (11) Good night (2328) Bad night (890)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?

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  (907): good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy? http://tfl.nu/iaof
  Replies (10) Good night (830) Bad night (2483)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.

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  (519): he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint. http://tfl.nu/fup1
  Replies (4) Good night (1382) Bad night (609)
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  (916): View more from California

  I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.

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  (916): I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it. http://tfl.nu/y2di
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (1007)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.

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  (518): Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked. http://tfl.nu/4s83
  Replies (10) Good night (505) Bad night (1049)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.

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  (931): I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move. http://tfl.nu/yt36
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (222)

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