Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends

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  (406): This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends http://tfl.nu/27cl
  Replies (32) Good night (4419) Bad night (959)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"

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  (302): Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?" http://tfl.nu/v4rw
  Replies (27) Good night (6672) Bad night (2207)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

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  (305): If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet? http://tfl.nu/k73j
  Replies (22) Good night (1761) Bad night (4972)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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  (704): I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying. http://tfl.nu/un4v
  Replies (25) Good night (1473) Bad night (9890)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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  (360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn
  Replies (10) Good night (2724) Bad night (1230)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?

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  (+44): He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day? http://tfl.nu/3a44
  Replies (14) Good night (3592) Bad night (692)
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  (909): View more from California

  We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.

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  (909): We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic. http://tfl.nu/24xb
  Replies (2) Good night (1165) Bad night (625)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.

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  (731): He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver. http://tfl.nu/fyob
  Replies (8) Good night (2192) Bad night (617)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"

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  (205): He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos" http://tfl.nu/1xhi
  Replies (10) Good night (1691) Bad night (706)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle

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  (204): I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle http://tfl.nu/o3ji
  Replies (4) Good night (1862) Bad night (494)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

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  (828): If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. http://tfl.nu/ed76
  Replies (9) Good night (1291) Bad night (436)
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  (323): View more from California

  In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.

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  (323): In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink. http://tfl.nu/5x8b
  Replies (5) Good night (864) Bad night (429)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday

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  (425): I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday http://tfl.nu/6bnr
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (330)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt

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  (203): In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt http://tfl.nu/klez
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (523)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.

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  (250): Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit. http://tfl.nu/wak6
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (191)

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