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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woah.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  that's not how you spell hell yes.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

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• (415): View more from California

  Feeling better?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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• (518): View more from New York

  you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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• (310): View more from California

  Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

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• (626): View more from California

  Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM

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