I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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