So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize