How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
