You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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