allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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