Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
