Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
