How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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