It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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