I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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