after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
