the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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