we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
