Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
time to smoke my breakfast
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize