What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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