At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
