I think scott just propositioned me for sex
kristin has been a bad kristin
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
