You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
