A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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