I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
