i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
