youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.