Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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