Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk

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(319): View more from Iowa

I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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(914): View more from New York

tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner

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(647): View more from Ontario

there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.

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(209): View more from California

We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

(1-209): View more from California

Duh.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

What happened last night dude?

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!

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