Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil. http://tfl.nu/z427
  Replies (8) Good night (854) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it. http://tfl.nu/pcok
  Replies (24) Good night (5403) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag http://tfl.nu/538a
  Replies (16) Good night (1193) Bad night (4746)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny. http://tfl.nu/r59v
  Replies (17) Good night (759) Bad night (3945)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out. http://tfl.nu/ga8t
  Replies (3) Good night (4828) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z
  Replies (2) Good night (1843) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for. http://tfl.nu/ra5n
  Replies (10) Good night (4021) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/4mc3
  Replies (16) Good night (2708) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever. http://tfl.nu/lkx6
  Replies (19) Good night (1579) Bad night (3234)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important. http://tfl.nu/vy7b
  Replies (19) Good night (637) Bad night (4894)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How was your 8:30 class today?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): How was your 8:30 class today? (1-306): Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus. http://tfl.nu/9y2t
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911. http://tfl.nu/s9ui
  Replies (8) Good night (1716) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long http://tfl.nu/owq9
  Replies (14) Good night (1520) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And then someone hit me with a pool cue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud. (604): And then someone hit me with a pool cue http://tfl.nu/5hgm
  Replies (4) Good night (980) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect. http://tfl.nu/ydf2
  Replies (0) Good night (564) Bad night (291)

Randomize