Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"