Can i not drive my cunt home
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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