He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
