Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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