The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
