I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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