We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
