i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
