Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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