Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize