Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
