Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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