Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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