You're so nebulous sometimes
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
