you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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