I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
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They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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