halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
