what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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