she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
