Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
