broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
