That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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