if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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